"Tell people they should promise themselves not to get involved with anyone or play with anyone for the first six months after joining the community."
Speaking as someone who met my first community lover at the very first munch I ever attended, I was perplexed. "Why, specifically?"
"Well," her argument began, "the overwhelming majority of the people we know who sought out play partners or situations right away upon becoming community members made some sort of poor decision."
Interesting. And true. Whether it was frenzy, falling under the spell of someone with less than altruistic intentions, or in my case, getting physically involved with someone who wasn't careful, many of us who dive in head first find ourselves struggling for air. My mentor always…