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Showing posts from October, 2017

How to Find a Sex Feind

I got asked an interesting question recently. How do you spot someone who is kinky? That's a tricky one. But, believe it or not, there is an answer. I noticed it the other day. There was a cute, yet awkward girl that came into work. Someone said, “She's almost cute,” and then smirked. I found myself staring at this girl with the nice smile as she walked away, her amazing butt moving back and forth in a certain, familiar way. “She's a freak,” I mumbled. “Huh?” came the reply. “Oh, uh...” I fumbled for words. “Nothing.” If there's one thing I've learned in this lifestyle, it's the nerds that are the sexual Olympians. Sure, the frat boys, sorority girls, gangstas and bar tramps may take tons of people home. But it's the awkward sect that have the real stories. Look for that girl in the unflattering twill skirt, who voted for Bernie. Look for that dude who looks like a cast member of the Big Bang Theory who lingers a little too long o

Intro to Polyamory

Less than two full days after beginning book promotions on Twitter, I received an unexpected request. Someone contacted me about writing a regular blog for their BDSM toy site. I dropped a few other responsibilities and devoted my free attention to this person's request, trying to meet it as quickly as I could. In the end, it didn't work out professionally between us. I won't go into details, but it is one less deadline I have to meet. Still, I have this unpublished post, an odd one. See, I seriously considered many subjects for the first installment for them, but settled on none. So I just asked, "Are there any specifics you want for the first post?" “Yes,” came the reply. “I would love a piece on the poly lifestyle.” Interesting. In fact, anyone who has read my book, Ignite35: My Life in the Sex Fetish Community will automatically see the irony in such a request as my initial entrance into the BDSM community found me deeply confused, and even put

Respecting the Help

Note: Please understand that, with regards to finance, this is in reference to the United States. Other countries have different standards and practices. Learn those and apply with need. The rest holds true world wide. I've read tons of BDSM blogs and papers. They range from the very basics of consent to traditions in the community to spirituality and BDSM. While many topics are covered more than others, one that I never see discussed pertains to munches. That's not to say that munches aren't discussed. They are, heavily. I've written about them a good bit, and not even grazed what others have. Still, there is one aspect that never gets the attention it deserves. That, is the wait staff. If you attend a munch, the wait staff is critical and they need a special attention that goes way beyond anything that we deal with in our unique interactions. So, lets address that, for real. First, let's discuss waiting tables. Whether you believe it or not, it is hard. L