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Showing posts from December, 2017

What is BDSM and What is Harassment and Abuse?

I think we can all agree that it's hardly a major revaluation that 2017 has sucked. There are countless reasons for this, but one of the uglier ones has been the--almost nonstop--allegations of sexual harassment and assault perpetuated by various public figures, from the various lewd advances made by Harvey Weinstein, to the out-right (and at this point, probable) actions of rape by Danny Masterson. All of it is enough to make one physically ill. I bring it up, not to be part of the daily dose of bad news we all constantly have to force ourselves to swallow (along with some of our own vomit), but in contrast to the practices of real BDSM. It's a question I hear fairly frequently. What's the difference? Somebody hurts some one sexually, why is that okay one time, but not another? There are a  number of factors, but the main one is consent. If someone says to me that it's desirable or permissible for me to slap delicate parts of their body, that's okay.