Neurolinguistic Programing

Greetings, everyone. Been a while. But, after an unfortunate accident followed by some unexpected surgery, I've begun to regain the use of my left hand. I'll spare you all the gory details and just get back to what I'm supposed to be doing here, writing about BDSM and kink.

Neurolinguistic programing, the practice of saying certain things to someone in order to put them in just the right head space for kinky play and elicit the desired responses, is a big part of the lifestyle. I'm sure most of us have experience the thrill that accompanies our partner or partners talking dirty. Well, when you take it a step farther, insisting that certain things be said or done at specific times, it can get even more intense.

Allow me to give you some examples. When my current sub and I first started playing, we negotiated how each of us would be addressed. In most cases, I am, Sir. She begins most sentences and ends many others to me with the title. Unless we are in an extremely vanilla situation, it is all she is allowed to call me. Conversely, I address her with a variety of affectations and slurs depending on how I want her to react. Occasionally, I call her by her name. Most other times it's, little girl, baby girl, sweet treasure, slut, whore, worthless-piece-of-fuck-trash... It just depends on how I want her to feel and what trail I want to lead us down towards our endgame.

It bares repeating here that we negotiated all of this before hand. Even the most horrible stuff I say to her, she's consented to. In her case, she really likes being talked down to and ordered around. So if I happen to grab her by her collar, pull her to me and grumble, "Are you going to behave and do as you're told, you nasty, little bitch?" she gets turned on...really turned on.

Of course, the talk doesn't have to be harsh or degrading. In the case of many littles (kinksters who engage in age play) their Top may say something like, "Does Daddy's baby girl want to play?" This begins the scene and puts the submissive in the right head space to indulge their fantasy.

Beyond titles and questions, there's also requests and instructions. A sub may plead, "Please, Sir, please fuck me." To which the reply may be, "First take off those clothes I've been allowing you to wear, get on your knees and demonstrate to me why I should."

Other times it's just words. My first sub used to beg me to "use" her. It was a word she employed a lot because she wanted to be objectified. Another sub I knew liked the word, "worship." "Please, Ma'am, May I worship at your feet?"

Yet another form of neurolinguistic programing is hypnosis. My former mentor demonstrated this to me by standing his subs his front of him with their heads bowed and told them stories in which they were the main characters. With a steady, quiet voice, he began by calming them and setting the scene of the stories. Then he would ask them what their reactions would be to certain scenarios he put them in. The effect was profound and surprising. Add to that--though I never witnessed it--he swore he could talk, at least one of them, into having an orgasm from across the room.

Now that...is impressive.

Things like this illustrate that our biggest erogenous zone is between our ears. And since communication is one of the most efficient ways to access that organ, words can make us horny faster than anything.

Put simply, who do you want to be? Who do you want those you play with to be? How do each of you want to relate to each other and to feel as a result of it? Decide that and describe it. It's a great way to slip into your fantasies, better than any blow job, any outfit, or any beating.

Humans are the only species with actual language. It has helped us build societies and culture. It has helped us dominate the planet. Few things are as powerful, and where intimate communication is concerned, few things can be as sexy.